Pre-Production Unit: Research - Tutorial #2 Feedback

I received feedback a couple of days after sending my script in; below are the notes I made:


- Some locations don't have scene numbers: every new place needs one, regardless if it's the adjacent corridor.
- Archie needs to be more believable.
- The characters all sound the same when talking.
- Do more of an introduction to them as well: it currently sounds like a police report. Make them distinct.
- Sean and/or Zoe should be more questioning of Archie's appearance. It's strange for the audience to notice something odd and the protagonists not question that. Kills some of the believability.
- The gun still isn't convincing.
- Include easter eggs into your script, don't leave them out.
- Trigg needs more fleshing out.
- Show more of the characters in the script (i.e. personality) through their mannerisms and clothing style.
- In scene one it states that the atmosphere is friendly and there's "good vibes". I need to show the good vibes and not just say that there is.
- Be more global in your locations: there's a lot of benches!
- In the finale Sean sums up what Archie's trying to tell him:

This is too much: too much telling the story and not suggesting or making things ambiguous. Don't answer every question essentially.

- Sean and Zoe could be questioning what Perry's up to. He suddenly goes missing and his wallet is found in the woods. Isn't this a little suspicious?

The feedback received I can agree with: mainly the characters sounding too similar. It is tricky to write unique characters although I feel it does lend to the fact they're friends: they have things in common. Despite that I will make each one more unique.

It seems like a lot of work but a lot of it comes under similar headings or mention the same things. So my main issues are characters and believability.