Fiction Adaptation Unit: Pre-Production - Script and feedback

After completing my script and handing it in I received feedback a few days later:

Other comments/suggestions made:

- Some of the V.O's are probably OOV's (Out Of Vision)/O.S's (Off Screen)
- Some things weren't clear such as "We see a man dressed in a white vest and camouflage trousers wake up." (page 1) and " "The memory is too much for him" (page 2): is the Solider lying down and because we don't see the memory how does the Soldier react to remembering it?


I'm happy with the condition that the script is in as I love writing scripts and am very comfortable in doing them. The comments made are fair though: I do need to describe the location we are in at the start and alter some things. One thing I noticed when reading the script was that I forgot to add in the line "Someone was holding water to his mouth." This means I'll have to re-print the script otherwise I may forget to film that line so I might as-well improve it based on the comments whilst I'm at it.